Spreading your Wings

Life can be like the African elephant with learning everything because a calf is raised by the whole heard. Weather or not it is a teenager wanting to experience life or an adult looking for a new hobby they are spreading their wings. The first time someone moves to a different place it is difficult but it is also necessary  to become individuals. To experience something new is also good because it allows them to see a new perspective on the world around them. I am experiencing for the first time moving away from home and it is hard. In a way though I needed to move to a better city for being blind and to spread my own wings. The city I moved to is very good for the visually impaired community so it allows easier access for me. A fully experienced person should also try some new hobby every once in a while to change the routine of everyday.Trying some new place to eat or even taking a vacation to another country is spreading your wings.What do you try or have tried to spread your wings? 

update...

Here goes another update on my life. I was not able to get the requirements in on time for the guide dog class in December so I will have to wait maybe until the summer. This will be because I am going to College in January with a couple of classes a couple times a week. I am taking an Intro to Psychology, Intro to Journalism to learn more about writing better and a College Composition class. I am starting off part time because it has been quite a while since I have had the fast pace of going to school. I did change my major to Criminal Justice because I thought it would help me better with goin to the 

dispatch field. I could also use it for writing in certain fields. I am meeting with my teachers to discuss accommodations in class at the 11th of January. I start classes on January 16th so it is very helpful to meet with the teachers before hand. I will likely have to remind the teachers about helping me periodically but I have heard thats normal with someone who has a visual impairment. I also found a door to door service to help me with traveling around when I need to. If you do not know what this is all it is a service that I call and tell them what time I would like to be picked up at and dropped off at.Of course I would have to tell them the locations I would want for that too. So away from the serious stuff now. I saved a kitten from the cold November 10th and she is very sweet. I had some trouble teaching her some manners but she is learning slowly its fine with me though because she is still a kitten. I am not sure how old she is or how long she was outside but she was not very skinny and large enough not to be extremely young. I named her Goldie because I was told she is orange but a very light orange so she reminded me of the sunrise or sunset colors. My other animals are doing ok with having her around so that is very good. My dog thinks she is a play toy so he keeps trying to get her to play with him but all the kitten does is hiss or ignore him. My other cat is not very happy either but they are doin well otherwise.I have started a couple series which is about magic and they are very interesting even though magic is not what I usually read about. O before I forget I also Got a stripe on my white belt for Jiu Jitsu. I need three more stripes to advance to a blue belt. I am very excited about my own progress and hope to continue well. I am wondering when I will be able to go to a tournament and put my skills to the test. I am not inpatient about goin though. 

Heros in this world

There are hero's everywhere in this world. Weather or not they where a badge, an uniform, or even the person right next to you there are hero's everywhere. the people who where a badge or an uniform are the people who stand out to us as hero's but we have to think of the people who also may help you get out of a bad spot your in or even the people who give more than they are given. They can be the true hero's in certain situations like maybe helping a fellow friend across the finish line because their leg broke while they were running. Maybe even that person who helps with a little direction when you get a little lost walking. An athlete can be a hero just by being someone to look up too for a younger person. Look for these people because they can help make a difference in your life weather it's a small difference or a large difference. Do you know a hero that is just an everyday person?

Scary Story Time

Nobody knows exactly how we came to be and how we have survived so long in this world. We have survived 500 years and have become known as the best hunters as vampires. We hear the hearts of our prey and listen to their blood flow threw their veins. We smell the preys sent and track it as far as 5 miles. We are blind vampires. Each and every one of us hunt each night and find kill for our meals.Our prey cowers not just in terror but also confusion because they see glowing blue crystal eyes that are without life. I found a trail so I hunt to eat. I walk on silent feet but I know what is around me from years of practice. I stalk my prey until I corner them between two buildings. I listen to the perfect sound of blood flowing threw scared veins.My mouth waters with hunger and my fangs push stinging pain threw my gums.I slowly get closer savoring the smell of fear mixed with adrenaline my favorite sent. He wants to scream but I run so fast towards him and clamp my hand over his mouth he has no time too. I savor my meal for this night because I do not know when I will have the freedom to feed freely. Each time I get to hunt is a freedom because in this day and age a blind creature does not live freely. The other vampires track us down and cage us to be their hunting dogs. Today with so much advancements in the world humans are becoming harder to track down to feed upon.I have not been caught but it becomes harder and harder each night to find meals without the other hunters finding me. I do not know how much longer I will have as a free blind hunter. Let me just use my skills and do my best to escape them every night.

Update...

For my readers I am sorry I have not written in a while.I get my ideas from other people and myself when my brain wants to work right but I have not had any ones lately.So this post is just an update on life for me. Well first lets talk about my dog not my guide dog I am still working on getting but my companion dog I own. He has been having a few issues lately like in September he had two ear infections and he got medicine for that and took it quiet well. Lately he was itching a lot and nothing I did was helping him so I finally took him to the vet. The vet told me that he had skin allergies and they have been very bad this year so its not that big of a deal. He got medicine for that and is still taking it. I have been using peanut butter since its a few pills he has to take but somehow he has the talent to lick all the peanut butter up and miss the pills. So I have to get him to take the pills without much peanut butter on them. About me now I have been doing pretty good lately. I joined Jiu Jitsu class at.the end of September and I am really enjoying it. I have been learning a lot and meeting people that are becoming my friends. I also got to see someone graduate from a white belt to a blue belt which is the next step up from a beginner in Jiu Jitsu it was great to be there for that. I am also starting to have fun again so that makes life a lot better to live in my opinion. A definition of fun can vary from person to person. For some it can b binging on Netflix with a friend or furr babies in pajamas. Only if you do not do it often. My brand of fun is getting a new audiobook from one of my favorite authors and listening to it. I also have the brand of fun most people do and that is hanging out with friends and family I have not seen in a while. I also have been cooking and baking some so that is fun to me too. I cooked some shrimp sauted with garlic and butter.I have also made my favorite dish twice lately.It is just a pasta meal with ground sausage, a spaghetti sauce, and penne noodles. I love it. I have also made homemade peanut butter cookies which came out really good. I do not know what else to write so I am going to ask my readers what is your brand of fun?

On your Journey

Everyone has there own journey to take in life. It is up to that person weather or not it is a good or bad journey. Nobody can blame anyone else for their short comings or the bad decisions they make. You have your own free will, you can say no or even walk away. You are the only one responsible for your actions and mistakes. This life can also bring great possibilities and great adventure. Just take your journey one step at a time and see where it may take you. You may end up in a place you thought impossible or out of your reach. Try your best to stay on a good path because once you go towards a bad path it may be very difficult to come back from. Enjoy the journey of life and remember to have fun along the way. Where do you think your journey will take you?

Kindness

In this world there are good people and bad people. There are also kind and mean people. It is difficult to find truly kind people because there are many people who do a kind act but expect something in return. The truly kind people that do these acts are rare and should be held close if you have the pleasure of having one of these friends. With the most recent act of total violence in Las Vegas truly kind people show there colors. They covered others bodies with their own despite the probability of them getting injured or even killed. Many other people also helped others get out of the line of fire even if they may get a bullet in a vital part of their own body. Some people even helped children find their parents after the carnage. Even in daily life kind acs are apparent and they can not go unnoticed. The people that help the homeless with getting food that they may not get very often are truly kind because the homeless person can not give you anything in return. All these kind of people are out there they are just extremely hard to find and try not to take advantage of. the kindness in this world is something that should be treasured and never expected. When that happens you ruin the pureness of the actions. Sometimes even putting a little bit of change in the red kettles for the Salvation Army around Christmas time is a kind act. You are giving just a little bit more to help someone without even realizing it and that little bit can make a difference. Maybe even sharing a part of your lunch with a child or colleague is a kind act that the other person will appreciate. Make sure you are kind because most of the time it will be rewarded in either appreciation or even something else. You will have to be the one to figure that one out. what was your kind act today?

I am confused... Are you?

So I am going to tell you some facts and I wonder what you think of them. People have cancer and are getting it everyday. In the early 1900s only 1 in every 20 people were getting cancer. In the 1970s 1 in every 5 people were getting cancer but now 1 in every 3 people are getting cancer. What is wrong with those facts? I think that with all the processed food and products people eat and are around its causing cancer to be more prevalent in the population. I also think with all these advancements in technology why can we not figure out better ways to cure cancer. The legal ways to help with cancer are surgery, kemo therapy, and radiation. Kemo therapy and radiation are two of the most popular ways to help cure cancer but they also make the patient very sic in the process. These ways that are ment to help are actually hurting people because the treatments besides surgery kill the good cells that the body needs not just the cancerous cells. Throughout time there have been better ways to cure cancer like herbal medicines and other proven methods that cure cancer up to 99.9%. Where are these methods now with children and adults that have families to go home to? These methods have been illegal for many years because the plants that help in the herbal medicines can not be patented. I am confused about why make these better proven methods illegal then have legal methods that cause more harm than good. Yes I have had it explained to me many times that people want to make money. I want to ask why would you prefer to make money and know that the treatment you are giving people are causing them to become extremely sick? Why would you not want to go the route that has less side effects and will be more affective in the long run? The herbal medicines may not be FDA approved but the methods that cause people to become more sick are. That is strange to me. What do you think of all this? Do you believe that herbal medicines should become legal if they are better in every sense?

Why Wolf's Manor?

When I made this blog it was for an English class my sophmore year of high school.This was the title that popped in my head at the time. I think on it now and I think it is very appropriate because of the idea of the wolf and how my writing can apply to it. Wolves are very complex and wild in there own sense. When a wolf cares about another wolf the only way it may not care about that other wolf is betrayal of some sort that can not be forgiven. Wolves will also protect their family and friends till they are severely injured or dead. I believe that is the way it should be because family and good friends are always hard to find. Its strange for me to put family in that group but I believe that family is not always blood and even the family that is blood they could not be the best kind of family. Wolves are also so complex of creatures and are more layered than most people think. Each layer tells a little bit more of who they are and why they do what they do in their packs. Each post I make I try to explain that this world has its own layers and so do people. Each layer you pull back and reveal shows just a little bit more of that person or even the events that happen in this world. Each person has their own background to become who they are today so they may not have been the person everyone knows today in that past of theirs. Do you know if you have your own layers like the beautiful wolf?

My week at Leader Dog for the Blind

I got the chance to take a week long mobility training course in Michigan. I was able to stay on the campus of Leader dogs for the Blind. I went there Sunday and got back Friday night. It was fun to spend some time away from home and meet great people. There was only one other person in the O and M class and the rest of the people were in the guide dog class for that month. It was cool to see someone working with there dog so close up and seeing how they were working threw their bonding. During the week for me was very busy because I had mobility in the morning before lunch and after lunch before dinner. I was able to learn cardinal directions better. I was not so good at them. I also was able to get a new tip on my cane that gets caught on so much less and also gives me better information while walking. I really liked Friday because I was able to do a short walk with a dog to see if I really liked it and to see how it was to walk with a guide dog. The guy that was in the mobility program was very interesting because he only went blind two years before I did but he also lives in Texas where there are not many sidewalks. He also has a whole bunch of horses and cattle so that was very cool to me. I believe I made a good friend in him and will do my best to keep in contact with him. I really enjoyed my week at Leader Dog and hope to go back and get a guide dog soon. O before I forget I also got some Leader dog memorabilia like shirts and a sweater. I also got a key chain and a cool bracelet that has a small paw on it.

The Shit we step on

Life is a web of actions, re actions, and mistakes. So each mistake we make we have to account for them and deal with the re actions that come from making that choice..Each action we choose to make the re action can be terrible or beautiful.Depending on the actions that are made the cause can be horrifying pain to the living and eternal darkness for the dead. When our world leaders make choices for the good of the human race it is never known if that choice could be bad or good. All the world has to live with is those actions that were made for some apparent reason that is good for the general population. In this day and age with all the horror and death many people have made heroic actions and are being treated as they should be that they are heros. Also in this world there are such people that are so screwed up in their head that they kill so many innocent lives when all those people just wanted to have a good time. This in my opinion is something that should never happen so many lives should not be lost in such a terrible way because one man went insane. Everyone of us has made mistakes in their life and have to deal withe the re actions from that mistake. The shit we step on can be the problems we come across every day and learn how to get threw. Well enough of the serious stuff... The Shit we step on can also apply to the literal shit we step on during daily life. I know each and every one of us has stepped on shit or gum or some other unknown substance. What kind of Shit do you step on weather or not its actually under your foot?

What does music mean to you?

Each and everyone of us has listened to music or knows someone who has. So if you ask anyone they will tell you a reason why they listen to the music they do. The reasons can vary from trying to relax or to help them think. Some people can do it just for the pure enjoyment in hearing different types of music. I know people who love rock but hate country and other people who will tolerate country but rarely listen to it by choice. I even know people who listen to such funny music you are laughing with in the first verse. My preference of music varies itself. I like all kinds of music but certain kinds like gospel, classical, and the rap where every word is a curse word and is insulting to people I do not like. Other than those types I will listen to any kind of music once to see if I like it or not. My favorite kind of music is the kind that has meaningful lyrics. A song I have loved since the first time I heard it is Stand by Rascal Flatts the chorus is what makes it so meaningful to me. Here it is:

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, 'til you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe your hands, shake it off

Then you stand,

Then you stand

What do you think of that chorus? I know I love it and just listening to the whole song a couple times can get me out of any funk I am in for some reason. To show the variety of music I listen to I am going to show more lyrics to another song. I enjoyed rock a little bit but a good friend of mine introduced me to other rock artists and I fell in love. A good example of this is a song by 5 finger death punch called Dot your eyes. Here are the lyrics I love from that song:

It's not the size of the dog in the fight.

It's the size of the fight in the dog.

What is your music preference?

Chu To Bu / Brasa Judo, Jiu-Jitsu,

So I have a friend that introduced me to this place just on Tuesday. Once I started I knew it would be something I will enjoy. I have wrestled for a few years if you are reading more than this post and I was looking for something else to do in the workout sense. I was starting not to be in the best head space and could not seem to keep myself out of that bad place. I knew I needed a workout that was hard but also made me think of the moves. So on Tuesday a friend of mine thought I would like this place so I went to try it out. Well it turns out I did really enjoy it and will go as often as I can. I do not want t to be in that bad place anymore or snarl at people cause I am restless. To calm that place in me is difficult because it is the anger and cold fury that wants to be let out any chance it gets. With the enjoyment of pushing my body to its limit it allows me to stay the happy and laughing person I really am. I let the anger and cold fury out in a controlled way that is also useful in other situations. O I also get to beat up a few people along the way so its pure enjoyment. Thank you my friend for introducing me to this I will work hard to be good and maybe make a few friends along the way.

Why... Just why

I would not usually write about anything to do with politics, but I think this should be addressed. It has been in the news a lot lately and I think it is ridiculous the point of the NFL kneeling during the national anthem. This should never go threw people's mind as a protesting action. I do not care if your protesting police brutality, Donald Trump, or even racism do not kneel for the national anthem. To sing the national anthem is an honor because it honors those who have sacrificed their lives for this country. Standing for the national anthem was taught to everyone since they started school why should it be changed into a protest maneuver. Knelling is a disrespectful act and a disgraceful act to this country. The people who decide to do this are being childish and need to remember to have honor in the people who serve. Why disrespect the lives that were willingly given to protect your life and their country?

Unbelieveable

There have been all these natural disasters happening in the world as everyone knows. The hurricanes have been the biggest discussion because there have been so many in such a short period of time. I am wanting to talk about how people escape to safe areas and shelters but leave their animals. I can not believe that some people would do something so selfish. It is a common agreement that any pets or animals someone owns becomes family. I do not understand how if an animal becomes family they can be left behind so simply. On top of that I do not understand how if that animal is left behind why would you not go back and at least look for your family member of the four legged kind. There is a phrase from the movie Lilo and Stitch that I am going to use.Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. The four legged creatures we bring into our home become family so why would this phrase not apply to them too. Now all those dogs that were left behind and forgotten are going to make new families that may not do the same.Do you consider your four legged friend your family? Would you leave them behind in that kind of situation?

My brothers

I can not believe it took me so long to realize that I should write about my brothers. It is a long and complicated story but my brothers are my brothers no matter what anyone may say. I love them with all of my being and if anyone will not except that then they should not be around me. I will protect them with my life if it ever comes to that people should know that about me. I love to see them every chance I get but that is not as often as I hope it to be. I enjoy just spending the day with them even if it is just watching movies like a couple of couch potatoes. When I was told my youngest brother had a picture of me in his book bag the whole time I was in the hospital it just made me want to give him a huge hug and cry from pure love. My oldest brother told me something I will never forget as long as I live he said "I do not know how you are my sister but I know you are my sister." That simple sentence was a punch to the gut because of the complicated story of the past. No matter what time of the day or what may be happening I will always answer a call from either one of them or a text. Any significant other I get will understand they are my world and if they do not understand that Good Bye to that significant other.

I want to write to my brothers specifically so here it goes:

I will love you forever

I will care for you forever

 I will protect you forever

I will sacrifice my life for yours any day

If I get mad at you I will always forgive you

To see both of you grow up is a blessing because it was one small decision that could have not made it so

I love you both always and forever

3 years ago

I have debated all day on weather o not to write this, but as you can see I decided too. On this day 3 years ago my life changed forever. Cliche phrase right, but it is true. The day my life changed forever was a day I will never forget. At the end of school I called my dad and told him how bad my day was and he just told me to dress in something comfortable so he could bring me to the hospital when he got off work. I remember not wanting to go but I finally did as I was told because I was really not feeling good. We went to the emergency room and I got a Cat scan done. After that it went pretty fast I was told they found a large mass in my head and they wanted to transfer me to a better hospital. The last thing I remember was the guy in the back of the ambulance with me saying we were there. I finally woke up 3 days later because they had to drain my head of extra brain fluid that built up then they did the surgery. They found a golf size tumor in the back of my head and my CSF tube crushed. The big problem was I lost my vision so quickly after that I did not even realize it was gone right away because it became normal to me. On that day I also found out I have a disease that would make me have to go to the doctor's office regularly for different scans or tests. People tell me all the time that I am strong for not going into a depression or anything worse. I just call it stubbornness on my part. I had the stubbornness to live and live the way I wanted to. I had to start with everything from the beginning like reading, mobility, and many other things. I eventually went to a school that helped me to learn all I needed to learn again. What I have learned from this experience was to live life to its fullest and laugh as often as you can because you never know what may happen tomorrow. With this disease I do have to go see those doctors all the time and maybe eventually doing that will take its toll on me. With the people around that care about me I will continue to be stubborn and never give up. There is a man I have been compared too many times but I never got to meet because he died before I was born. This was my dad's dad who was a drill Sargent in the Vietnam War and also had the disease. I would have loved to meet the man I am compared to a lot with how bull headed I am. I would also like to ask him why did he give up on going to those doctors to help him. I understand in a way but why not wait until his youngest was over 18 and maybe out of the house. I do understand though because the disease I have is known to start hitting a person hard and likely killing them before their sixth decade. I want to tell anyone who is reading this to live your life happy and with as much laughter you can fit into it. When I get a phone call from a friend or even a silly text it makes me smile or even giggle when I needed it. To have those small moments is a wonderful thing. I really chose to write this because I saw a memory on Facebook that was about some family members saying they love me and are thinking of me on that day 3 years ago.

Senses

There are five senses for most people, I only have four. I m blind so my senses are heightened. I feel everything differently, I hear everything differently, I even smell differently. I feel with every part of me and its worth more to me with everyday that passes. To feel someone's life force and heartbeat with each hug is shocking at first. To touch someone and enjoy the warmth of their skin is strange. To have your skin itching for a long and surrounding hug is scary at first. After a while you want to feel those sensations because without it it hurts too much. I each cadence in sounds and voices. I hear the pain or emotion that can not be explained when someone speaks. I hear the way you walk that makes me able to tell who you are or if something is wrong. What is the most strange for me is being able to tell people's sent. I will explain this one even if it makes me sound creepy. I can smell each person as they walk by me or when they hug me. I have realized that everyone has there own sent weather or not it is their cologne or maybe perfume. After a while I can discern who that person is only if someone else is not wearing the same sent. Most people like a particular cologne or perfume so that makes it easy. We are all human and touch is important for us to feel comforted or may just need the touch. I believe now without sight my senses have gone more towards animal like which sounds kinda weird even to me. I think this because I understand feeling, hearing, and smell in completely different ways I thought I would never understand. Do you feel everything in ways like this? Can you understand what I am talking about?

Information!!!

I did not realize how much I would enjoy writing these blogs so much but I do. I would love to write everyday but my mind goes into something like writer's block. I do not think this is the best description because I do not consider myself a real writer. So I am looking for ideas, subjects, stories, or even criticism on ways to fix some of my writing. I would truly appreciate it and I will try to do a post on everyone's ideas. It may take sometime to do this that is kinda what I am looking for is well spent time. If you want to send me something email me at Wolf.t.manor@gmail.com and use WM Suggestions as the subject line or I will not pay attention to the email. Thank you all who do send something and those who do not thank you for just reading the posts if you do.

Circumstances

Everyone is dealt a deck of cards in their hands. It is up to that person how they want to handle them. Would you want to let those cards rule the way you go threw life or would you want to hold them proudly. These cards are just circumstances that are given to us.I was not dealt the best hand of cards but, I do my best with them each day. I went blind at somewhat of a young age but I did get to see so much in the time I had sight. I am thankful that I was able to do at least that. I did not go blind before I had a chance to take it for granted like most people would have. What bothers me the most is when people do not understand the real difficulty of somethings. I really do not understand why some people think just because i am blind I am a fragile flower that may break with the slightest hard knock That is definitely the wrong idea to assume something so heinous. I was given these circumstances why should I be treated different then someone who has sight I do not understand. Maybe they are scared of the unknown or to scared to try and learn about the unknown. Each person has the circumstances they have ben dealt it is up to them how they want to live with them. I can do anything a sighted person can do but the things that sight is necessary for. I can cook, I can clean, I can walk places without help or someone hovering like I will fall. These are my circumstances. What are yours?

True Inspiration

I recently started podcasts to listen to other stories and learn more things. I listened to a podcast by this guy named Jocko Willink who is a retired navy seal and has his own website, Facebook page and more. I am not referring to this guy though I want to talk about the guy he had on his podcast yesterday. Rob Jones is who I is the true inspiration in my mind. He is a Marine but suffered a major injury a couple years back which made him have to retire from the Marines. This guys job was to find IEDs for his platoon to keep them from encountering them unexpectedly. One day in the field he was not able to find the IED on time and he suffered the mistake. Rob Jones became a double amputee above the knee. Do not think this stopped this Marine it did not he pushed on and now lives a happy life. What I found really interesting was he went to the 2012 Para Olympics and got a Bronze medal in rowing. I also found it really cool that he taught himself to ride a bike again and rode cross country from Maine to southern California. He has a phrase that really gets to me and can relate to anybody. There is weight on everyones shoulders and you can either let it drag you to the ground or you can push yourself and eventually that weight will feel like nothing. I certainly did not get it word for word but he is referring to a work out technique in which a person works out with a certain weight and gets used to that weight. He also has a journal of his time in the Marines that tells an amazing story with great detail he continues to write about his everyday life.Rob Jones is also soon going to do 31 marathons in 31 days in 31 different locations. To follow his progress in this incredible event go to robjonesjourney.com you can also see which locations he will be in on which dates. I want to thank this man for telling his story and being a true inspiration not just to me but everyone who encounters him.Thank you Rob Jones for all you have done.

Night and Day

Everyone has dark and light inside them you just have to acknowledge it. I know I have anger in me and some days its hard to fight it off and keep it at bey. I can feel it lurking at the edges of my mind some days and it does get out without me realizing it right away. It feels like a beast that I have to control each and every day so I do not accidentally let it out and the beast hurt someone I care about. Them there is also the light which is a respite from that darkness. The light allows me to laugh and smile with the people I care about. I can also joke around with them and be compassionate if someone is hurt or needs the comfort. I can help a little kid tie their shoe just because they asked me too while walking down the hallway. Despite this light the darkness still wants to sneak up on me and dig its claws into me and not want to let go until its done with me for that day. So its like Ying and Yang, dark and light , day and night, which ever way you want to see it they are there inside of everyone lurking to be let out. Sadness, hatred, disgust, anger, jealousy, and many more can be considered your beast that you fight off everyday. Compassion, love, caring, helping, trust, and happiness are considered some of the lighter emotions that can drag us out of the darkness for just a little while. I believe each and every person has both of these qualities in them they just may or may not know it or not want to accept they are there. Even in everyday life there is light and dark or in the literal sense of night and day. There is murder, death,heart break, or just a pissed off person that day is the dark. If you have light or just found it never let go. It will help you though the darkness in the world and have happiness where everywhere you look there is not any. If it's a child or true love hold it it tight and never let forget they are your light in this world of night and day.

Note: This post was a draft for awhile so I did not forget what I wanted to say I just wanted to wait to add the picture before I published it.

What is this world coming too?

I have been seeing it a lot on Facebook lets see what you think. There are a few opinions of all the natural disasters happening in the world lately which one do you think is true? The main opinion I have been seeing is that God is coming back to this world that is why all the shocking amount of disasters are occurring.I do not think that could be true because I do not understand how a book that was made a couple thousand years ago could have known that what is happening now could have come true. It does not mean I am putting down the people who do believe I just do not. Another idea is that the Earth is finally taking revenge against humans for trying to kill it for thousands of years. It could also be that the movie The Day after Tomorrow is coming true and the world is doing what it has done for millennia and is resetting itself. This one is a strange one but it could also be the government controlling the weather. This is a strange one to me because if the government is doing this what kind of political advancements does controlling the weather do. Maybe it is to raise political polls or opinions. If the president knows about this then why is he allowing all the deaths to happen. What is your opinion or what ideas do you have on all the natural disasters happing?

What is a survivor?

The definition I am referring to is: To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere. I want people to know this one because everyone has experienced a hard time or two. So every time you are thrown into a situation that is difficult remember to be strong. If a person o people put you in that pit of misery claw your way out as a way of saying "Fuck you" to them. If it is a pit of a pit of despair or being thrown to the side of the road because someone thinks you are worthless then remember you are a survivor. A survivor is someone that no matter the difficulty of an issue they will always pull theirselves out of it and try their best not to let anyone else put them in a spot like that again. I understand being a survivor myself because I did not have the best childhood but I am here today and am happy. To be lied to and manipulated for the first decade of my life has taken its toll but I am here today and I understand what was done to m so I do my best to laugh and smile every time I can. I did have some help along the way though which is not a bad thing it is a good thing. My father has helped me with many things like helping myself threw the verbal and emotional hurt I went threw. So do not turn down the help when it is offered sometimes it is needed. Remember your the one who has the last say in weather or not you want to get out of the hell you are in or gone threw. Are you a survivor?

The sport I Love

Well if you are keeping up with my posts maybe you have seen that I have mentioned wrestling a few times. I have mentioned this sport a few times because I love it since the day I started. It is hard to explain but just the difficulty of the sport and the challenge is what makes it so much of an enjoyment for me. Since the first year I wrestled I somehow gained a reputation for being tough and stronger than I look. I have always enjoyed pushing myself to my bodies limit and past it so this was the best sport for me. People still ask me till this day how I got interested in the sport. I remember in the sixth grade my dad told me I had to do a sport and the week before the biddy cheerleading papers went out. That week though biddy wrestling papers were being passed out and I asked the person that was passing them out if I could have one and he looked at me funny but gave me one. I brought the paper home and told my dad that I wanted to do wrestling and all he said was "I will call the coach." I was surprised that he said that but I was happy too. The coach had some problems with me wrestling as a girl but with some fighting I was able to stay on the team and did well. Years later that same coach that did not want me on his team saw me wrestling still, complemented and also apologized to me. I was not certainly not the best but I tried the hardest I could every match and practice. In the eightch grade I gained the nickname "Bone Crusher" because a match I wrestled I accidentally broke two of someone's fingers. I went blind a couple years ago and in the hospital I actually asked when I would be able to get back to wrestling. I had to heal first and transfer to Lorain High before I could even try to wrestle again which was difficult for me. It was frustrating in Lorain City Schools to try and wrestle again because they saw a big liability issue with a blind person wrestling. Maybe they thought that since I was blind I lost the toughness I had when I had sight...wrong. if you are a person that thinks that a person who is visually impaired or blind is weaker is stupid in my opinion because they go threw mor each day than you can ever imagine with that kind of impairment. I eventually went to the blind school in Columbus after I got all my high school credits and was able to do the sport I love with no problem and more sports. I wrestled on a team with a couple other blind students and visually impaired students. I really enjoyed that year because I was able to learn mor about the blind society and how some people think of it and how to wrestle blind. I particularly enjoyed my coach which was also blind because he noticed things that some sighted coaches I had did not notice right away. At the conference at the end of the season I suffered my first serious injury in all the years I have wrestled it was a bruised bone in my right foot but I still placed in fourth place. I wrestled six years which is not much compared to others but I loved all six of those years. Maybe as I get older I will get some kind of part time job in the wrestling field like a assistant coach or an actual coach I will see as time goes on.

A bad Reputation...

Well in this world there are many people that do bad things and earn the bad reputation they are given but what about the animals out there. I am talking about the issues of dogs earning a bad reputation and being punished for it. People get put in jail for their bad deeds because they have the common sense not to do what they did. What about dogs they are taught to do these bad things and do not know any other way so they are punished for it. I think that is wrong and should not happen to a creature that is unable to speak its mind about what it is doing.To get into specifics pit bulls are taking the bluntness of the human opinion and can not do much to stop it. They are ran out of cities because that is their breed and humans have taught them to fight till the death. Humans have also interbred this breed so much that many of the dogs out their are aggressive by nature, I say with the right training these dogs can be as much as a family dog as a lab or golden retriever with the right owner. So I do not think that an entire breed should be accused of all the crimes one person taught a dog to do. I think the idea that all of one breed is bad because one animal in that breed has done horrific actions is wrong. Just like in human society the person that does the crime is dealt with it should also be applied to the animal society. Dogs are just as smart as humans maybe even smarter at times so they can be trained with consistency they can be the perfect companion, In the years past many breeds have gone threw this process of known as being aggressive and then being considered an awesome family dog. People should not forget the past because it can show some truth for the present.

Seasons

What do they mean to you?The seasons mean a lot of things to many people and mean nothing to some. I guess I will start with spring the season of life. I think it means the season of life because new life grows in this season. Beautiful plants start to grow and flourish with just the melting of the snow and the sun coming out. Animals start to mate and give new life to this planet. It continues the cycle of life and keeps the Earth going on for another year. The season of summer is another good season for most people with just the sun and beautiful skies to look forward to. Swimming in pools to cool off or getting a tan are usually the ways this season is spent. I have not been a big fan of the heat for as long as I can remember so this is not my favorite season. Then comes fall the season with changing leaves and cooler weather. This is one of my favorite seasons because I enjoy the cooler weather and the rain. When the leaves start to die is when this season will start and when the world becomes a certain kind of beautiful. I think the last one is Winter the coldest season in a lot of places. I strangely love this season no matter how cold it gets or how much snow is out there. I love the cold and the snow especially when I get to play in the snow. I would love to live in a place when it is winter most of the time like Alaska. I think this is the best season to look at the sky because the stars are so clear and the cool air adds to the mood. After a good snowfall the ground seems to sparkle like diamonds which I think is a fascinating sight even though I can not see. What are your thoughts on the seasons?

Are they out there?

 I'm not asking about aliens I'm asking about mythical creatures. Do they exist in the world we live in without us knowing? Does the vampire live without being discovered what about the lycanthropes or more commonly known as the werewolf hide beside us. Can they walk among us without us even realizing it. Can they live in a secret society right under our noses. Can one be the person right next to us or maybe the mail man that waves every time we see them. Can the gargoyles on buildings in England not just be statues but a creature that is scary all on its own.Is the Griffen really just waiting to be called from its sleeping place to help with a job it needs to do. Can we ever find out without harming this society that can exist. Will we always be scared of the creatures we do not know. People have to remember that a long time ago we were scared of wolves that eventually became mans best friend.We should not be scared because just maybe they are scared of us too. There is a saying that there is a grain of truth in every myth but how did this become a saying. Where did the grain of truth come from? Can our own government be testing DNA splicing and not tell the general population. Can they know about some of these mythical creatures and not tell us to help us in a strange way. Will a war come one day when these secrets are uncovered and the only way to win is to make friends with them or die. What happens after that kind of war will we go back to being scared of these creatures and try to kill them. That should not happen they saved our lives our children's lives why would we try and kill them because of that?

How does the media influence the masses

The media influences the masses by putting out what they want to make society feel the way they want them to feel. To get a certain result the media will make a story with only certain facts and the rest speculation. They will write a article without all the facts just so people will see the story the way it is written. What needs to be done is for the media to tell all the facts even when it may make a few people angry or upset. Tell the full story and let society decide on the right choice on what should happen. There is a story out there that happened in March that tells about a man in a so called stolen vehicle and other suspicions. So the cop that tried to pull him over saw this and it ended up in a small car chase and with the cop shooting the man and killing him. What the stories do not tell is that the man was shot in the vehicle with his girlfriend of ten years and his three kids.A 15 year old and two toddlers. Why did the media not give those facts? For the media to put out these facts they have to admitt that the police officer was in the wrong and should have gained more facts before acting on his own behalf. Now that family will have to live without a father for those children and the toddlers will have to live with that horrible memory not to mention what the teenager will have to go threw. The media should put out the facts no matter if it will bring down a bad guy or tell society a truth that will hurt but they will relate too. Its the truth it needs to be told and heard do not tell only half the story the full one is the right one.

Lonelyness

Everyone has that day in there life that they feel completely alone with no one to be there for them. Even if there is one person you can talk to then you are not alone. Just because no body will not text or call you back does not mean your alone. In this world there are people that will wonder how you are and care enough to ask. When they do ask they make your day even when they did not know that you were having the worst day ever. Those people make life just a little bit better so do not forget that person they are there for you anytime you may need to talk. Find that person that does not mind talking about your feelings even though they are not your partner. Those kind of people really want to know about you and make sure you are feeling ok. A simple laugh can also make someones day just a little bit better so do your best to make a friend laugh even if you do not know if they are having a bad day or not. Some people will not tell other people that they are having a bad day they just want to hold it in and not tell anyone. It does help to tell someone even if it is just a friend. Do not isolate your self it will only make everything worse.

So...

I wrote a post a while ago that told a little bit about my vision loss. I was told that maybe more of my story may help other people so here I go... I said that I had a brain tumor that caused my loss of vision what I did not say was the tumor was the size of a golf ball in the back of my head. I am not going to bore the world with the entire story but I will say that not long after I woke up in the hospital I went blind maybe a couple hours or more I could not tell. The brain tumor also crushed my cerebral spinal fluid tube which is the clear liquid around your brain. So with that being crushed my brain was under a lot of pressure and was causing severe headaches to make it better the doctors put in a external shunt which helped drain the extra fluid building up inside of my head. Eventually they put in a permanent VP shunt that helps my body absorb the extra fluid on its own. When I got home I slept a lot because I was recovering from a major surgery and it was a shock on my body to be in the hospital for 36 days because my first external shunt got infected. It has been diffcult to learn all new things and re learning a lot too. The way I think of it is I am kinda stuck with being blind so just go gwith it and do what needs to be done to live my life again.

Windows to the Soul...

 The phrase is known as the eyes are the windows to the soul. What does that mean for the people that can't see the distractions of the world? I think that means that low vision or blind people feel emotions in a way that a fully sighted person will never understand. Those people can feel love with everything they have without haveing to base love partially on what that other person looks like. Looks truely don't matter n this point. On the downside of that though they feel anger, anxiety, hurt, and depression deeper and far stronger. With no sight to see the beauties in the world too they feel the world threw emotions and threw touch. All those emotions make those people more than life itself. there just has to be that one person to realize it maybe even a group too...  

Family...

Family is of the heart not the blood.

People that love you no matter the distance or time apart are family.

People who hold on and drag you out of the pit of despair are family.

People that make you happy just being in the same room with are family.

They make you smile when you didn't know you needed to smile.

They will hold you when u need an anchor.

They will be proud of you and love you when you don't think you deserve it.

Family is the heart not always the blood.

Hi... life happens

At the beginning of my Junior year of high school I found out I had a brain tumor that caused me to go blind...

I recovered fully after my surgery and went back to school at Lorain High. I finished all my credits in two semesters and got back to wrestling. I heard of a place that could help me learn blind skills. so I went to the Ohio State school for the Blind in Columbus for a year and four months. Where I learned Braille, Tech, and Mobility. I mean tech by doing things on the computer and phone that you cited people do too. I mean mobility by crossing streets, learning how to use a bus system, and learning how to get around being blind. I also joined some sports like Track, Goalball, Wrestling, and Swimming. Goalball is like blind soccer and ironically I learned how to swim being blind. I met some great people and lifelong friends who are also visually impaired.