Unbelieveable

There have been all these natural disasters happening in the world as everyone knows. The hurricanes have been the biggest discussion because there have been so many in such a short period of time. I am wanting to talk about how people escape to safe areas and shelters but leave their animals. I can not believe that some people would do something so selfish. It is a common agreement that any pets or animals someone owns becomes family. I do not understand how if an animal becomes family they can be left behind so simply. On top of that I do not understand how if that animal is left behind why would you not go back and at least look for your family member of the four legged kind. There is a phrase from the movie Lilo and Stitch that I am going to use.Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. The four legged creatures we bring into our home become family so why would this phrase not apply to them too. Now all those dogs that were left behind and forgotten are going to make new families that may not do the same.Do you consider your four legged friend your family? Would you leave them behind in that kind of situation?

My brothers

I can not believe it took me so long to realize that I should write about my brothers. It is a long and complicated story but my brothers are my brothers no matter what anyone may say. I love them with all of my being and if anyone will not except that then they should not be around me. I will protect them with my life if it ever comes to that people should know that about me. I love to see them every chance I get but that is not as often as I hope it to be. I enjoy just spending the day with them even if it is just watching movies like a couple of couch potatoes. When I was told my youngest brother had a picture of me in his book bag the whole time I was in the hospital it just made me want to give him a huge hug and cry from pure love. My oldest brother told me something I will never forget as long as I live he said "I do not know how you are my sister but I know you are my sister." That simple sentence was a punch to the gut because of the complicated story of the past. No matter what time of the day or what may be happening I will always answer a call from either one of them or a text. Any significant other I get will understand they are my world and if they do not understand that Good Bye to that significant other.

I want to write to my brothers specifically so here it goes:

I will love you forever

I will care for you forever

 I will protect you forever

I will sacrifice my life for yours any day

If I get mad at you I will always forgive you

To see both of you grow up is a blessing because it was one small decision that could have not made it so

I love you both always and forever

3 years ago

I have debated all day on weather o not to write this, but as you can see I decided too. On this day 3 years ago my life changed forever. Cliche phrase right, but it is true. The day my life changed forever was a day I will never forget. At the end of school I called my dad and told him how bad my day was and he just told me to dress in something comfortable so he could bring me to the hospital when he got off work. I remember not wanting to go but I finally did as I was told because I was really not feeling good. We went to the emergency room and I got a Cat scan done. After that it went pretty fast I was told they found a large mass in my head and they wanted to transfer me to a better hospital. The last thing I remember was the guy in the back of the ambulance with me saying we were there. I finally woke up 3 days later because they had to drain my head of extra brain fluid that built up then they did the surgery. They found a golf size tumor in the back of my head and my CSF tube crushed. The big problem was I lost my vision so quickly after that I did not even realize it was gone right away because it became normal to me. On that day I also found out I have a disease that would make me have to go to the doctor's office regularly for different scans or tests. People tell me all the time that I am strong for not going into a depression or anything worse. I just call it stubbornness on my part. I had the stubbornness to live and live the way I wanted to. I had to start with everything from the beginning like reading, mobility, and many other things. I eventually went to a school that helped me to learn all I needed to learn again. What I have learned from this experience was to live life to its fullest and laugh as often as you can because you never know what may happen tomorrow. With this disease I do have to go see those doctors all the time and maybe eventually doing that will take its toll on me. With the people around that care about me I will continue to be stubborn and never give up. There is a man I have been compared too many times but I never got to meet because he died before I was born. This was my dad's dad who was a drill Sargent in the Vietnam War and also had the disease. I would have loved to meet the man I am compared to a lot with how bull headed I am. I would also like to ask him why did he give up on going to those doctors to help him. I understand in a way but why not wait until his youngest was over 18 and maybe out of the house. I do understand though because the disease I have is known to start hitting a person hard and likely killing them before their sixth decade. I want to tell anyone who is reading this to live your life happy and with as much laughter you can fit into it. When I get a phone call from a friend or even a silly text it makes me smile or even giggle when I needed it. To have those small moments is a wonderful thing. I really chose to write this because I saw a memory on Facebook that was about some family members saying they love me and are thinking of me on that day 3 years ago.

Senses

There are five senses for most people, I only have four. I m blind so my senses are heightened. I feel everything differently, I hear everything differently, I even smell differently. I feel with every part of me and its worth more to me with everyday that passes. To feel someone's life force and heartbeat with each hug is shocking at first. To touch someone and enjoy the warmth of their skin is strange. To have your skin itching for a long and surrounding hug is scary at first. After a while you want to feel those sensations because without it it hurts too much. I each cadence in sounds and voices. I hear the pain or emotion that can not be explained when someone speaks. I hear the way you walk that makes me able to tell who you are or if something is wrong. What is the most strange for me is being able to tell people's sent. I will explain this one even if it makes me sound creepy. I can smell each person as they walk by me or when they hug me. I have realized that everyone has there own sent weather or not it is their cologne or maybe perfume. After a while I can discern who that person is only if someone else is not wearing the same sent. Most people like a particular cologne or perfume so that makes it easy. We are all human and touch is important for us to feel comforted or may just need the touch. I believe now without sight my senses have gone more towards animal like which sounds kinda weird even to me. I think this because I understand feeling, hearing, and smell in completely different ways I thought I would never understand. Do you feel everything in ways like this? Can you understand what I am talking about?

Information!!!

I did not realize how much I would enjoy writing these blogs so much but I do. I would love to write everyday but my mind goes into something like writer's block. I do not think this is the best description because I do not consider myself a real writer. So I am looking for ideas, subjects, stories, or even criticism on ways to fix some of my writing. I would truly appreciate it and I will try to do a post on everyone's ideas. It may take sometime to do this that is kinda what I am looking for is well spent time. If you want to send me something email me at Wolf.t.manor@gmail.com and use WM Suggestions as the subject line or I will not pay attention to the email. Thank you all who do send something and those who do not thank you for just reading the posts if you do.

Circumstances

Everyone is dealt a deck of cards in their hands. It is up to that person how they want to handle them. Would you want to let those cards rule the way you go threw life or would you want to hold them proudly. These cards are just circumstances that are given to us.I was not dealt the best hand of cards but, I do my best with them each day. I went blind at somewhat of a young age but I did get to see so much in the time I had sight. I am thankful that I was able to do at least that. I did not go blind before I had a chance to take it for granted like most people would have. What bothers me the most is when people do not understand the real difficulty of somethings. I really do not understand why some people think just because i am blind I am a fragile flower that may break with the slightest hard knock That is definitely the wrong idea to assume something so heinous. I was given these circumstances why should I be treated different then someone who has sight I do not understand. Maybe they are scared of the unknown or to scared to try and learn about the unknown. Each person has the circumstances they have ben dealt it is up to them how they want to live with them. I can do anything a sighted person can do but the things that sight is necessary for. I can cook, I can clean, I can walk places without help or someone hovering like I will fall. These are my circumstances. What are yours?

True Inspiration

I recently started podcasts to listen to other stories and learn more things. I listened to a podcast by this guy named Jocko Willink who is a retired navy seal and has his own website, Facebook page and more. I am not referring to this guy though I want to talk about the guy he had on his podcast yesterday. Rob Jones is who I is the true inspiration in my mind. He is a Marine but suffered a major injury a couple years back which made him have to retire from the Marines. This guys job was to find IEDs for his platoon to keep them from encountering them unexpectedly. One day in the field he was not able to find the IED on time and he suffered the mistake. Rob Jones became a double amputee above the knee. Do not think this stopped this Marine it did not he pushed on and now lives a happy life. What I found really interesting was he went to the 2012 Para Olympics and got a Bronze medal in rowing. I also found it really cool that he taught himself to ride a bike again and rode cross country from Maine to southern California. He has a phrase that really gets to me and can relate to anybody. There is weight on everyones shoulders and you can either let it drag you to the ground or you can push yourself and eventually that weight will feel like nothing. I certainly did not get it word for word but he is referring to a work out technique in which a person works out with a certain weight and gets used to that weight. He also has a journal of his time in the Marines that tells an amazing story with great detail he continues to write about his everyday life.Rob Jones is also soon going to do 31 marathons in 31 days in 31 different locations. To follow his progress in this incredible event go to robjonesjourney.com you can also see which locations he will be in on which dates. I want to thank this man for telling his story and being a true inspiration not just to me but everyone who encounters him.Thank you Rob Jones for all you have done.